umhula77

THE GOLFER confidently eyed...

Well maybe this one may stir up some replies;

A man stranded on a desert island could not believe his eyes when a beautiful woman in scuba gear appeared on the shore.  She smiled and said, "I'll bet you could use a cigarette."  Unzipping the sleeve of her wet suit, she pulled out one and handed it to him.  "I'll bet you haven't had a nice, cold beer in a long time."  Unzipping the leg of her wet suit, she pulled out a brew and gave it to the grateful man.  When he had taken the last pull of his smoke and drained the last drop of beer, the shapely woman unzipped the front of her wet suit.  "I'll bet, she purred, "it's been a long time since you played around."  "You mean,' the man gasped, "you've got golf clubs in there?"

or this;

A prominent businessman was sent this ransom message:  "If you want to see your wife again, bring $50,000 to the 17th green of the country-club golf course at ten o'clock sharp on Friday morning."

He didn't arrive on the 17th green until noon.  A masked man stepped from behind some bushes and growled, "What the hell took you so long?  You're two hours late!"  "Hey, gimme a break," the husband pleaded.  "I have a twenty-seven handicap!"

THE GOLFER confidently eyed...

or this:

Two golfers agreed to play the ball as it lay.  On the sixth tee, they were dead even.  The first player hit his drive 200 yards down the middle.  The second slashed his shot over the trees and came to rest on a asphalt cart path.  "I get free relief from the cart path,' the errant player said to his companion.  "Hell no you don't," his partner snapped, "we're playing it as it lays."  Without another word, the second player dropped his friend off at his ball and headed toward the path.  The first  golfer laughed as he saw sparks fly from the practice swing, then was quickly silenced as a second set of sparks sent the ball flying over the trees, onto the green, landing three feet from the pin.

"Great shot," he shouted.  " What club did you use?"  The second player yelled back, "Your six iron!"

"

THE GOLFER confidently eyed...

UMhula77 = =

   Thanks for the laughs..!!  I stopped by yesterday but found myself pressed for time and at a loss for words.  I like your additions, though.  I hadn't seen the island wet suit in years, so that was nice...... but the partners six iron is CHOICE.. 

My son, who is about two-hours west of you said he was getting 2-5 inches last night...... I don't wish you nay bad luck with the weather, but . . . . . .  I finally see my grass, so kindly keep that stuff up there. . . . . . . . . . . .  please..??

dgm

THE GOLFER confidently eyed...

Yep, we got it last night.  4 or 5 inches.  It is melting very quickly though!  I was bored so I thought I'd go fishin' for some new jokes.  I'll keep putting up jokes until I run out.  Maybe one a day for kicks and giggles...