Tarkus' Nonsensical Musings and General Bruhaha

This should keep you busy for a bit and I hope get a laugh.

*Notable Quotations on France*

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks
it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
--Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one
behind me." --General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your
accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
--Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac,
President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is
sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the
1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the
face for it." --John McCain, U.S. Senator (AZ)

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam
out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get Hitler out of France
either." --Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for "more proof'' it came marching into
Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman

"War without France would be like ... uh ... World War II."

"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its
national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
--Dennis Miller

"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when
they needed us." --Alan Kent

"They've taken their own precautions against al-Quaida. To prepare for an
attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a
three-day supply of mistresses in the house." --Argus Hamilton

"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being
advertised on eBay the other day--the description 'Never shot. Dropped
once.'" --Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"The French will only agree to go to war when we've proven we've found
truffles in Iraq." --Dennis Miller

"Raise your right hand if you like the French. Raise both hands if you are
French."

"Question: Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris?
Answer: It's not known, it's never been tried." --Rep. Roy Blunt (MO)

"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And
that's because it was raining." --John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv.

"The AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced after the
London bombings that it has raised its terror alert from 'Run' to 'Hide.'
The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The
rise in the alert level was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed
France's white flag factory, effectively disabling their military."

"French Ban Fireworks at Euro Disney. ... The French government announced
today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at EuroDisney. The
decision comes that day after a nightly fireworks display at the park,
located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby
French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists." --AP Paris

"Gangstaaasss, what up guys?"  Already this thread has given me a good morning laugh. nice work. I had never heard alot of those! haha comedy!

Tarkus, congrats on your Flyers victory! Your lucky that Philly's been my video game team since NHL '93 on Sega Genisis when I was a wee little tyke. It makes it not suck so much to lose to ya. The Wild have now offiically lost to both PA teams this season... lame... Good game though? I saw your post on Demitra's goal. I imagine you guys were playing really well, or we played snitty cause it seemed like every time I checked the score on my phone, Minny was on the power play. However that was never followed by "power play goal" oh well, you win some you lose some eh? Congrats on the Victorious Victory. trivia fact- Wild vs. Flyers on Oct. 11, 2000 was the first ever regular season Minnesota home game at xcel Energy Center. (I have a big framed panoramic of it behind me on my office wall)

Nyfan1982 - I couldn't help it, even though I got home late from my hockey game, we sat up and watched Superbad again. I can't think of any movie that I've ever laughed so much through. Have you watched the preview of their new movie Pineapple Express yet? I can't figure out what the plots supossed to be about. But knowing Seth Rogan I'm sure it'll be comedy!

my favorite Superbad rant...

"my partner is never here, I do twice the work but i don't get twice the grade. Look at that! look at evan over there. I have to look at that, it looks like they're having the most fun I've ever seen in my life. While I sit over here, by myself. I wash and I dry, I wash and I dry! i'm like a single mother. People only take this class to get an A, it's Bullsnit! no offense, i sit hear making this terrible food. no offense. but I'm just can't help thinking... when am I ever going to need to know how to make tierra masuese? Am i going to be a chef or something!? I'm never going to have to know how to make tierra masuese! There's 2 weeks left in school! give me a f'n break!" oh, go work with Jules...?  "ok, I'll give home ec another chance..."

mattyroo- comedy! I can't believe you remember all those. Deep Thoughts rocked. SNL early '90's... do they still do deep thoughts? I haven't watched in years..

My favorite "deep thought"

"Every year at Thanksgiving my whole family would drive up to the mountains to go see my Uncle Harry for Thanksgiving Dinner, but every year that we went up to go see him, one of us wouldn't come back... It was five years or so until we realized, Uncle Harry was a bear..."