Craziest anger reaction

Justmy2cents gave me an idea with a thread he had, and someone responded about Tom Weiskopf and his temper.  I am looking for responses to the craziest, stupidest and/or funniest response you or another golfer you witnessed or heard about had on the course or soon after ( some of those 19th hole exchanges have been classic). 

Got a story to tell?  I'll put a couple later in the thread but don't want to over lead the discussion.  

About 15 years ago I'm waiting to tee off on the first hole.  Numbers one and 18 are side by side.  This kid wearing a Metalica tee shirt and sandles is teeing off in the group in front of us.  It's obvious he's out of place on the golf course. 

Well he proceeds to hit his tee shot..... it's a low hooking squirter heading towards the 18th fairway where two guys are standing.  Now this kid actually got into this one so it's screaming towards these guys at Mach 1.  The kid knows he's supposed to yell something but he obviously can't remember the universal yell for INCOMING!!!   So with a crowd around near the clubhouse he yells at the top of his lungs the first thing that apparently came to mind...... DUCK Mother Fu(&^%*errrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!  

Fortunately it missed the guys.... but I'm rolling on the ground laughing as is everyone else with the exception of the group of Baptist ministers waiting near the clubhouse. 

I used to play on a public course called Lake of the Woods. My group was behind another group in which one of the men was having a lousy morning. A pond ran along the left side of #5 off the tee, fronted the green on #6, a fairly long par 5, then along the right side of the 8th fairway.

This golfer hooked 2 shots into the pond off #5, then dumped at least 3 more on his approach to the 6th green. We could hear his screams from 200 yards back up the fairway. They finally cleared the pond so we made our layups and waited. When this guy finally holed out, he walked back to his cart, grabbed his clubs and tossed them into the lake, then stalked angrily toward the clubhouse.

We played 6 and 7 and were on the 8th green when we saw the man walking back toward the pond. We figured he'd cooled off some. Instead he waded into the pond, brought his bag back to shore, pulled out his keys and tossed the bag back into the pond.

Me, I've only smashed one club. My brother slapped me so hard I never even considered losing my temper on the course again.

Memt,

Outstanding story! 

I've been golfing for many years, but these stories are classic. 

The first one I'll tell is about a friend of mine when we were playing what was the WVU home course in Morgantown a number of years ago.  My buddy had just returned from Viet nam a few months before and took to golfing a lot to "relieve" tension.  We were playing, I believe the 6th hole there, which has a lone tree about 140 yds in the middle of the fairway.  I was somewhat tall, and was regularly shaped except for one long, thin limb that came out of the middle of the trunk. (the tree must have been manicured for this).  My buddy proceeds to hit a beautiful drive, it goes straight down the middle, hits the lone branch and bounces straight back.  Joe looks at me and says some words that would get me warnings here.

He gets his 5 wood out, hits the ball again, and crack, back it bounces off the same limb.  He walks to the ball, doesn'y even look at where he's aiming and cracks it off the trees trunk.  Joe does up to the tree and begins to jump as high as we can and starts hitting the limb at its point near the trunk.  It took me and about 6 other guys to pull Joe from that tree.  It was like one of those fights, where a guy calms down, you let him go, and he runs back to his adversary and fights again, only this time is what at this tree.  After about 15 minutes of this, someone from the shack that was used to act as the Pro Shop came and asked us to escort Joe off the course.  Joe would turn around and swear at the tree as we were leaving.

A number of years after that, I received a letter with a picture from Joe.  It was a picture of that tree being knocked down as they cleared the course for what became the new Mountaineer Football Stadium.  Joe wrote on the bottom, "F$%^&g tree!"

Uk,

Great story. 

I was golfing one day with a buddy named Hanley.  Hanley was famous for "Hanley Bounces", unbelievably lucky bounces he had when he hit a stray shot.  We were playing on a hole along side a road, when Hanley hit a ball that seemed to have hit a car and bounce back toward the green.  The three of us started our "Hanley Bounce" chant and went to look for the ball, but didn't see it.  I said I bet its up by the green.  We hit our shots, Hanley dropped one, and rode our carts up to the green.  Low and behold, there was Hanley's ball, right behind the green, unfortunately it was attached to an about a 6'5' state trooper, whose car was sitting by the road with a nice size crack in the window.  We couldn't stop laughing, and the cop got this ticked off look, and started talking to Hanley.  It seems that A golfer is responsible, according to the officer, for any damage done by a struck ball.  Hanley was thoroughly P*ssed, but we laughed the rest of the round.

As an aside, I found out that some Home Owners Insurances cover the damage done by a golf ball (I'm not sure why), and Hanley never paid a thing.

I have a buddy (I was caddying that day) that played in a Pro-Am with Jay Sigel a few years back.  He shot 71 - Sigel shot 74!  After putting out on 18...Sigel walked right off the green - no words, no handshake, nada.  He was so pissed.  What an arse!

As far as what I've seen on the PGA Tour...remember when the idiot Woody Austin broke his putter in half during an event - after hitting himself in the head!?  Nick Price did the same - although Price later apologized and was totally embarrassed.  Austin is just a goof.