The Atlanta Braves owned the NL East year after year. 14 years to be exact. Then I met a girl named Kady, and we started dating. I taught her about the Braves and she would cheer for them. So the Braves lost the division that year. I joked that she was bad luck, but then we lost the next year also. I started realizing it last year when we had the awful month, and she kept saying "Go Braves". I asked her to say Go Mets, and the braves won a couple of games in a row. So then she went back to cheering for the braves, and we lost again.
Keep in mind this is all a true story. Here is where it gets really bad.
So today, we are watching the braves and Nationals game, and I told her we were winning. She looked at me and said "Should I still cheer for the Mets?" I said it would be ok to cheer for the Braves so she said Go Braves. THE VERY NEXT PITCH Ryan Zimmerman nailed one, straight out of the park. this was the first homerun Tom Glavine had allowed all year long. She looked scared, like she didn't know what to do so I told her it was ok. After that, THE VERY NEXT PITCH Nick Johnson nails one out of the park. I asked her to never cheer for the braves again, no matter what I say in the moment.
I think I've devised a plan though. You should buy her all the Phillies and Mets gear that you can and whichever team that is ahead of the Braves in the standings, watch that game and cheer for them. If the curse holds true for the Braves, perhaps it will work for the other teams as well. I mean what could be better than to hear her singing "Meet the Mets, greet the Mets. . ." if you know that its going to lead to a 9-8 loss to the Pirates for the Mets?
Or better yet, you could pick your timing. Let her cheer for the braves as long as we can keep in striking distance, and then have her stop the last month or so of the season. Thus the Bravos could string together some non hexed runs and breeze past our 2 nemesis (or is it nemesi ?)
By all means though, come playoff time, if our bravos are around, leave the country. Take her on a vacation for the month of October to another country far away where they don't have sattelite and so you can't watch the Braves. Then secretly get vcast or whatever on your cell phone so you can keep up with the action without her knowing.
The last option is to begin practicing VooDoo together, and start making dolls of all the mets/phillies players and sticking them with pins.
Actually, I've heard that the cure for this is to take a Mets mascot doll, and a Phanatic doll and bind them with 7 hairs from her head, then hang them from a tree limb and hand her a baseball bat. She must hit them 9 times - once for each inning, then run counter clockwise around your backyard like she is running the bases 3 times (once for each out) while doing the chop and chant. For your own pleasure you could let her know that thie above ritual MUST be done without clothing, or you could also substitute braves garb (sorry if this crossed the line, but I thought I might help the relationship along . . . ) Once she finishes the bases, a night of snuggling on the couch watching old videos of great braves moments (the catch by Otis Nixon, Andruw's spiderman catch on the wall, 3000 k's for Smoltz, the World Series win, and lets not forget the slide by Sid Bream), should break any curses and or convince her that you are truly a loon, and force her to move on, thus also breaking the curse.
Anyhoo. Pick your own way to break the curse. Personally if she's hot, I'd try the last option and try to persuade her to do it without the clothing. You might want to make sure you have a fenced in back yard, since many neighbors don't approve of rituals like these done in their communities (stupid Mets spies everywhere!!!) Oh, and bobble head dolls of Reyes, Wright, Utley, Rollins, Burrell, Howard, or Santana can also be used to replace the Phanatic/Mr. Met dolls in the above ritual.
Hmmmm. I just had a thought that if you were nearing proposal time you could always hide the ring in a Met's logo pinata, and make her beat the crap out of it to get to the thing. Of course if she was a true braves fan, she might hit the Mets pinata so far that you might not find the ring again - . . . but I digress.
Oh, and make a video of the above curse breaking ritual (you can leave out the snuggling on the couch part) and post it somewhere where we can see if it worked! Er, unless you chose the part without clothing - in which case you might not want to post that - girlfriends are a bit touchy about those kinds of things I"m told.
Thanks for the input guys. I have actually tried having her root for the other teams, Usually the Mets, and they have gone bad as well. Whenever we play the Mets or Phillies I tell her to cheer for the bad guys. It just disturbed me that after 2+ seasons of some bad baseball, it's still going on. Then she cursed Tom Glavine to allow homeruns on his very next 2 pitches. The first two of the season, and the first back-to-back jacks for the Nationals.
The one bright side to her, is she is a huge Jeff Francoeur fan and he still plays everyday. She is in love with him. When he got tagged in the face she said "Oh no his beautiful face".
further comment
unless she looks like Kirsten Dunst
or
Reese Witherspoon
or
(my own favorite,
Lindsay, Brittany, Jennifer, Molly,
Frenchy, System Wenchy
Molly, Oh my golly,
or anyone named Natasha
or some other Russian - Slav, Ukraine
whatever Welsh name left)
if she's a curse on the Braves.........................
Your girlfriend is your girlfriend, and your team is your team.
Would you dump your team if she had one mishap after another every time the team had a losing streak?
Would your divorce her if she were more than your girlfriend?
Dude, your team won its div. for 14 straight years, and it had to end w/ each year becoming more possible. Maybe, BC 10 isn't responding, because she cannot believe your thinking!! You are JOKING, right???
I think Redchip's post is seriously the funniest thing I have ever read in my life... I am going to go ahead and assume Larry_Jones is joking and would never up and leave a girl friend just because she might be a curse on the Braves. I would just not let her cheer for them anymore, it sounds like she isnt really a fan of the sport, more just watches it because you do. So just don't let her cheer for the Braves, thats my 2 cents. Though I would like to hear a girls perspective on this issue...
) Once she finishes the bases, a night of snuggling on the couch watching old videos of great braves moments (the catch by Otis Nixon, Andruw's spiderman catch on the wall, 3000 k's for Smoltz, the World Series win, and lets not forget the slide by Sid Bream), should break any curses and or convince her that you are truly a loon, and force her to move on, thus also breaking the curse.
Er, unless you chose the part without clothing - in which case you might not want to post that - girlfriends are a bit touchy about those kinds of things I"m told. 
