MLB advocates a new statistic: MP

The implication, is that his job performance is being affected by his personal lifestyle choices.

...for some....job performance IS affected by his personal lifestyle choices....

• Roger Clemens
• Barry Bonds
• rafael palmeiro
• mark mcgwire
• Sammy Sosa
• ....all the guys on the mitchell report.....

He might be the first MP Hall of Famer to get 100% of the votes.

I have a few questions though. Who are the voters? What does the veterans committee look like? Where is the MP Hall located? What's the weight minimum for Hall consideration? And lastly, do they offer a matinee dinner special....daytime Hall visit, nighttime meat dinner buffet?

I shudder to think what the lunch takeout bill looks like for the annual induction ceremony.

I like categories such as these:

SS--Sunflower Seeds----Most seeds consumed in 9 inning game.

S---Spitting-----------------Most times spitting in a 9 inning game.

JS--Jock Scratching-----Most times crotch scratched in 9 inning game.

and, leader of all,

GT--Glove Tightening----Most times batter  at bat loosens and tightens his gloves in 9 inning game.