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I'm writing this column before the Sweet 16 games tipping off Thursday night, and I'm already terrified of the decision I've made. I'm giving the beaver pelt trader of the week to a Louisville fan message board -- for their obsessive search to track down a hot girl at last week's Birmingham tourney site. They named her "Birmingham stat-girl" and I received the link to this thread from three different people. All lawyers, by the way.
I wouldn't steer you astray, read the thread. Scroll through as the pursuit intensifies and I guarantee you'll be entertained as tons of guys attempt to nail down a picture of this girl. If women ever doubted whether men notice extremely hot women even from a huge distance and then continue talking about them for over a week, this thread should put that question to rest.
God bless the Internet. Should the mythical Birmingham stat girl wish to contact the column and step out of message board anonymity, feel free to e-mail us. Until then, congrats to the Louisville message board posters for nabbing a first, a beaver pelt trader of the week for such an entertaining and funny message board thread. I just hope I haven't jinxed my Vols. On to All That and a Bag of Mail.
Aaron Jahncke writes:
"I found this article about pink dolphins. Straight players these dolphins are, like I have always said the bling of sticks floating in the Amazon attracts the women. There is so much that we as humans can learn from these magnificent animals."
Best pink dolphin article ever? I think so. Reader links are en fuego this week, as you'll see below. Admit it, when I first started beating the drum for pink dolphin renown, y'all thought I was crazy. Then, slowly, y'all have come around on the pink dolphin and began to recognize that this is an animal that deserves a ton more attention than it gets. You go, pink dolphin player, you go.
Aubrey writes:
"Clay: Have you ever been to the Cyclorama in Atlanta? It's the kind of place that only history buffs can enjoy. Others find it kind of lame. I'm sure you would find it exhilarating. John Bell Hood is featured extensively.
Yes, I've been there. The only major Civil War sites I have yet to visit are all in Richmond, Va. I've been everywhere else. It's why I'm so popular with the ladies. My favorite sentences from the Wikipedia entry on the Atlanta Cyclorama: "The painting was sold and ended up in the hands of a traveling circus. When this circus came to Atlanta in the late 1800s, few Atlantans wished to see a Northern-biased painting that glorified the defeat that would lead to the destruction of their city. So, with little attendance, the circus went bankrupt, selling its assets including the painting and the animals." Nice move by the traveling circus. Maybe they needed to bring that elephant that was hung in Tennessee for killing a man to really drum up the crowd. Or have a painting of Chickamauga as well to balance out the victory/defeat angle.
Brock Lodge writes:
"I just read your account of your experience with this year's SEC tournament. Do you find it ironic that the game had been moved to Georgia Tech by an act of God and that the last shot by Arkansas was made by a guy who looked just like Jesus Christ and had 0 points in the game before that shot while you were sitting in a church? Ponder that."
Well, it's either ironic or terrifying. And I'm trending toward terrifying. What's going to happen now that I wrote my Easter column? I'm done for.
Joe Berry writes:
